so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
