If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
