i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
