Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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