you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
