I heard we made out
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
