he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There r osticjed everywhere
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
