I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
