I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
