Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
