It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
