what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
