I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
