The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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