you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
