Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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