come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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