My nipple is on Facebook.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
