also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Randomize
