The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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