my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
