Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
