Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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