piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
