Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
