I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i think im in europe. pls send help
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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