she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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