Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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