The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
