One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
