We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
