I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize