I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sorry my hands just texted you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
