guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
