i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
