tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
