Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
