i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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