Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
