fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
