I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
