I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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