So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
