Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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