this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
