why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
