Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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