after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
