Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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