I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
