is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
