she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
