if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
