Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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