I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
