Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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