he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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