Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
