they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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