so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
