How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
