if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
