This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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