just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
